Finding Serenity
by JayJe
Summary: Perhaps scars show others about one's past. Perhaps they remind a person of the endeavors they endured. But every person has a past, every scar has a story, and every person has a future.


**This was written for my best, best friend, Sarah!**

**It took me two weeks and I really, really hope that she likes it! I owe her so much more than what was written here, but I hope this will suffice.**

**You can currently (at the time this was posted) find her under the usernames mcgeekier, allmyrandomfandoms, or I-am-captain-marvel.**

**It was beta'd by my friend, Rylea. She can be found on tumblr with the username myships-havecanons.**

**Furthermore, I regret to say that I have not seen the final episode of season one yet, this is just what I have gotten from tumblr and my own creativity coming into play.**

**I really hope you guys enjoy this!**

Finding Serenity

"Lucy?"

At the mention of her name, the vampire's eyes darted up from her mother's body on the floor to where Mina stood in the doorway of her room. Mina kept glancing between Lucy's mother and her friend huddled in the corner of her room. Then Mina rushed to the older Westenra's body to check for a pulse. Upon finding none, she crossed the room quickly to Lucy and reached to cup her face in her hands, but Lucy flinched away from her and pulled her legs closer to her chest. "What happened?"

Lucy didn't respond, instead just resting her chin on her knees, and Mina had no idea how to help her right now.

"Lucy, tell me what happened." She took one of the blonde's hands that were wrapped around her knees and held it in her own. When the blond tried to pull away, Mina simply held on stronger and began to rub circles on her hand to relax her. "Talk to me."

"I don't know what happened." She sounded so afraid, a trait Mina never would have associated with Lucy. Mina forgot why she even came here in the first place; right now Lucy needed her now more than she needed answers.

But despite the anger she harbored toward the blonde the past few days, no matter how much she wanted to hate Lucy for her actions, Mina couldn't bring herself to turn away from her former best friend. "Are you saying that you just found her here?"

Even with Lucy's attention directed away from her, she could see the guilt wash over Lucy's face before she softly – dejectedly – whispered, "No."

"Talk to me, Lucy." Her voice dropped, taking her heightened emotions away, in an attempt to comfort the blond. She watched as Lucy dropped her head down to rest her forehead on her knees and covered herself with her free arm. But Lucy still didn't answer her. "Do you know who did this?"

There was a slight moment of hesitation where Mina thought that Lucy wouldn't answer her, but she saw the blonde's hair move with the nod of her head. Slowly, as not to frighten her, she let go of Lucy's hand with her right hand, still holding firmly with her left, and brought her fingers up to twirl Lucy's hair with them. But as long as Lucy was answering her, no matter how silent her replies were, Mina would still ask her questions. "Can you tell me who did this?"

No matter how long she waited or how hard she looked, there was no response from Lucy, only a stiffening of her shoulders.

"Lucy, please look at me." Her fingers stopped twirling Lucy's hair and slowly – gently – she moved Lucy's arm to reach down and lift Lucy's chin. The sight of Lucy's bottom lip trembling broke her heart. When she met Lucy's eyes, she could see just how absolutely terrified her friend really was. "Come here."

Her arms opened for Lucy, but she didn't move. And Mina understood. She's the one who broke Lucy's heart first, of course Mina lost her. But, still she wrapped her arms around Lucy and pulled her towards her chest. She placed her chin on top of Lucy's head and then began to pet Lucy's blond hair in an attempt to relax her.

It took a few minutes, Lucy remained stiff in her arms the whole time, but eventually she felt the tension leave Lucy's body as her arms move to wrap around Mina's waist.

Still, Mina waited. Her fingers combing through Lucy's hair remained the only movement in the room. It almost felt normal again, as if their friendship was never torn and everything before was just a nightmare. The room was quiet; it almost felt serene except for the knowledge that just across the floor lay Lucy's mother. And that's why Mina knew that there was a possibility that she and Lucy would never be friends again.

Perhaps events dictated reality, but maybe, just maybe, Mina could allow herself to pretend reality was only a nightmare. If not to forget the past few weeks' events, then maybe to help Lucy overcome hers.

Mina couldn't deny that she was shocked at Lucy's confession and that perhaps she had been a bit hasty in her decision, but she had weeks to settle down. For some reason she couldn't bring herself to confront Lucy, to ask why she hid her feelings. But the more she looked back, the more she saw that maybe Lucy was afraid. Afraid of her? Afraid of rejection? Afraid of heartbreak? Afraid of herself? Maybe one, maybe them all. Mina couldn't possibly figure out the answers to her questions on her own. And no matter how many times she wanted an answer, she couldn't bring herself to ask. _But what was she, herself, afraid of?_

The truth.

Although she didn't know the truth. She knew that she was just afraid of the truth. But now, with Jonathan's betrayal and Alexander's secrets, Lucy was the only person who remained completely honest with her despite her own discrepancies. Maybe, above everything else, it was time for Mina to admit to herself the truth.

_Did she love Lucy back?_

Were the jitters in her stomach excitement or butterflies, friendship or love? Was the pain she felt from that night's heartache from a friendship torn or a lover lost?

Then gently – ever so slightly – she smiled.

Maybe reality wasn't a nightmare.

But reality had a way of confining even the best of feelings. Her smile dropped when Lucy finally broke the silence of the room. Her whisper was harsh as it sliced through the air, the exposed secret breaking the content feeling Mina had finally discovered. Her reality was a nightmare that had just begun – a secret that only the devil would want her to hear. "I killed my mother."

Mina found herself utterly speechless. She couldn't even force herself to whisper a "what?" and Lucy seemed afraid of how she would reply. The blond had tensed up in her arms before pushing herself off Mina and repeatedly whispering "I'm sorry" as she kneeled down beside her mother. Seeing her friend so distraught seemed to have brought her out of her shocked stupor. Standing up from her seated position in the corner, she crossed the room to sit beside Lucy. "Tell me what happened."

The blonds' hair fell from behind her shoulder and curtained Mina's view of her. She stuttered when she spoke. "I-I don't know. I can't remember. It just happened."

"What happened?" Her hand was rubbing circles on Lucy's back. "What did you do?"

"I didn't mean to. I didn't mean to. I-"

"Lucy!" Mina pulled Lucy around to look at her and gasped. Two sharp, canine-like teeth protruded out from Lucy's open mouth. Then her voice dropped as she spoke more to herself than to Lucy. "You're a vampire."

Lucy's eye's looked terrified and sad. Then she broke eye contact and Mina watched as her eyes closed and a lone, red teardrop fell from her right eye. Then in a whisper similar to Mina's, she stated, "I'm a monster."

"No. No! You are not a monster!" She was quick to rebut. _I couldn't love a monster. _

And when Lucy started to nod her head, Mina decided that she didn't have any more words for Lucy. Instead, her hands came up and settled on the back of Lucy's neck with her fingers tangled in her hair and gently, but firmly, pulled Lucy closer to her. Their lips connected and pressed firm together, and that was the exact moment that Mina was positive that she was making the right decision.

However, she didn't stay there for long. She pulled back just far enough to see the shock clearly written in Lucy's face. Lucy's eyes were wider than usual and her jaw was slack. The more Mina looked at her, the more she saw Lucy's initial shock turn into confusion. Mina smiled and rubbed her thumbs in circles on Lucy's cheeks. Then, tentatively she leaned forward again but only brushed her lips over Lucy's this time.

This time, when she pulled away and looked at Lucy, it only took a few seconds for understanding to dawn in Lucy's eyes. So when Mina kissed her again, Lucy kissed her back. Then, she felt Lucy's hands grab her hips and pull herself closer.

After a few long seconds, Mina pulled away for the last time. She looked down at Lucy's attire and started to stand up, pulling Lucy with her by the hands. "Come on. Let's get you cleaned up."

Without Lucy's legs covering her torso, Mina noticed that there was blood all over the front of her nightdress and her arms where Mina could only presumed that she had hastily wiped the blood from her mouth after she had realized what she had done.

Mina led Lucy, their fingers linked, from her room toward the washroom but suddenly Mina was halted. When she turned around to see why Lucy had stopped, the look of terror in the vampire's eyes confused her. "No!" Mina watched as Lucy started shaking her head back and forth. "No, I won't go in there."

As Lucy started backing away, Mina had to step forth and say, "Okay, we won't go in there."

Then Lucy relaxed and she nodded as she looked at the floor and wrapped one of her arms around herself while she gripped Mina's hand more firmly.

Mina's eyes squinted as she tried to figure her friend out, but instead of asking questions she simply told Lucy that she would go get her a change of clothes and something to cover herself with. Then she reluctantly let go of Lucy's hand to return to the bedchamber alone so that the vampire wouldn't be forced to see her mother again.

After she had Lucy's clothes, they left the Westenra manor to return to where Mina lived. Mina would take care of everything in the manor eventually.

Luckily, with it being early in the morning, the sun wasn't up yet so the streets were bare. Mina originally went over to see Lucy before her classes, but today she would not be attending lectures as planned - today she would be taking care of Lucy.

They reached Mina's home quickly. Once inside, Mina brought Lucy into the sitting room while she went to get a small basin and cloth. She placed the basin on the tea table in front of the couch and then sat down next to Lucy.

First, she started out by dipping the cloth into the water and twisting it to get rid of the excess water. Then she picked up one of Lucy's hands and gently started rubbing the cloth in small circles to wash up the dried blood. Lucy's hands were cold and she felt the vampire's eyes on hers, but she didn't look up.

After one hand was clean, she started washing the other. While she was cleaning Lucy's other clean hand came up and, with a feather-light touch, she began to trace patterns on the top of Mina's wrist. The touch sent goose bumps racing up her arm and shivers down her spine. Mina halted her movements, looked up, and found Lucy's eyes watching her. Without breaking eye contact, not even blinking, Lucy's fingers turned her hand around so that her wrist was facing up. Then her thumb rubbed one circle over the inside of her wrist before she pulled Mina's wrist toward her and pressed a firm kiss to Mina's pulse while never breaking eye contact.

Mina felt dizzy. She knew that Lucy had heard her heart rate pick up and her breath hitch when she felt Lucy smile briefly against her skin.

Then, as if nothing happened, Lucy released her grip on Mina's wrist and settled both of her hands in her lap while she waited for Mina to continue with the wash cloth.

It took a few moments for Mina's heart rate to slow down, and when it did she looked at Lucy who was casually picking at the dried blood beneath her fingernails.

Her eyes narrowed and her lips thinned as she dipped the cloth back into the lukewarm water. After taking a deep breath to calm down, she delicately placed her fingertips under Lucy's chin and turned her head to allow herself better access to Lucy's neck.

Her fingers grazed Lucy's neck as the cloth brushed against her skin, pressing just hard enough to clean the blood, but not so firm that it didn't send shivers down Lucy's spine. She brought the cloth lower, tracing Lucy's collar bone. As one hand continued to wash Lucy's neck, her other hand came up and she brushed her thumb across Lucy's bottom lip. Then she leaned forward and gently – just a ghost of a touch – kissed the corner of Lucy's lips.

When she pulled away, she noticed Lucy's pupils had dilated. Then she smiled and the hand that brushed her lips trailed along Lucy's jawbone and down the back of her neck until her fingers unhooked the top button on the collar of her dress.

"Take off your dress." Mina watched as Lucy's eyes widened and -smiled to herself. "There's blood on your dress. You need to change."

With shaking hands, Lucy stumbled to pull off her night dress under Mina's gaze. After Lucy had removed the dress, Mina took the bloodied material and folded it before placing it off to the side. When she turned back around, Lucy was looking resolutely away as her fingers fumbled to undo the buttons.. Noticing Lucy's now shy demeanor, Mina knew that no matter how far she went with Jonathan and after everything that had transpired between them the past few weeks, Lucy wasn't ready. And if Mina wanted to be completely honest with herself, she wasn't entirely ready either.

She dipped the cloth into the basin again, this time washing where the blood had soaked through her clothes and stained her skin. As her hand moved lower she was sure that if Lucy had a heartbeat, she would be feeling it's rapid beating. Probably as fast as her own was beating right now.

At some point, Mina didn't known when, Lucy's fingers had stopped fumbling and Mina felt her piercing gaze trained on her. Regardless of the temptation, she would not make eye contact.

The dry blood swept away easily because the cloth was wet. Trying not to shake with nerves, her hand swept lower down Lucy's torso. Her fingertips grazed the side of Lucy's breast and Mina could have sworn that she had heard a low growl come from Lucy's throat.

Her hand traveled along the underside of Lucy's breast and the vampire's hand came up quickly to grip Mina's wrist gripping her wrist firmer the closer Mina got to the center of each breast.

Mina worked quickly to finish cleaning the blood, both for Lucy's benefit as well as her own.

Finally, when she was done, she hung the cloth on the side of the basin and picked up the neatly folded clothes she had brought for Lucy to change into. She specifically took out a cleaner night dress and when she turned around to hand it to Lucy she saw the flicker of confusion on Lucy's features, not understanding why Mina was asking her to put clothes on rather than take Mina's off as well. But Mina promised herself that they wouldn't go any further until they were both completely ready rather than a heat of the moment endeavor. Then Lucy nodded absentmindedly before she grabbed the material and quickly covered herself up.

Satisfied that Lucy hopefully understood, she took Lucy's hands in hers before leaning forward and placing a chaste kiss on the vampire's lips to reassure her.

Pulling away, one of her hands came up and tucked loose strands of Lucy's hair behind her ear. Then she bent forward again and placed a gentle kiss along Lucy jaw line. She rested her cheek against Lucy's and when she was looking down at her neck she saw the scars where Lucy's sire had bitten her. Her left hand moved up Lucy's arm and her fingers grazed against the scars. At the same time, she felt Lucy tense and start to pull away, but her right arm grabbed Lucy's opposite shoulder and held her in place.

It was funny how one thing so seemingly small – they're just scars, right? – could change an entire person. But scars don't dictate a person, they simply shape them and help them to grow into a stronger, more willed, and more determined person.

Perhaps scars show others about one's past. Perhaps they remind a person of the endeavors they endured. But every person has a past, every scar has a story, and every person has a future.

Mina lean down and pressed her lips onto Lucy's scars.

_Scars don't dictate a person, they simply shape them._

She felt the tension leave Lucy's shoulders and her body shiver. Mina smiled against the vampire's skin and whispered, "I love you."

Then she placed one of her hands on the back of Lucy's head and the other around her waist as she pulled the blond to her chest while she leaned back on the pillows of the couch.

Lucy's arms quickly found themselves wrapped firmly around Mina's stomach and her head found a comfortable place resting on Mina's collarbone with her nose buried in Mina's brown hair. Once they were both comfortable, Mina felt Lucy's chest expand as she tried to burrow herself deeper into Mina's neck. "I thought that you weren't required to breathe?"

Then she noticed Lucy stopping herself quickly. The gears turning in Lucy's head were almost audible as she tried to force herself to come up with a believable answer - as if Mina expected Lucy to admit to smelling her hair. Finally Lucy simply said, "Habit."

"Lucy…" Mina said playfully stern as she laughed softly to herself. She knew exactly what Lucy was doing. Lucy was many things, but subtle was not one of them. She pulled the vampire closer and felt as Lucy nuzzled herself further into her neck.

She twisted her fingers loosely around strands of Lucy's hair while her other hand gently trailed up and down Lucy's spine. They stayed like that for awhile, just content in the arms of one another, forgetting any burden that lay upon them. Mina closed her eyes and the only sound in the room was her breathing and the ticking of the clock in the corner of the room.

Eventually, as Mina started to drift to sleep, she heard a low purr coming from the form beside her. She looked down at the purring vampire and smiled as she watched her friend sleep.

Lucy finally found serenity.


End file.
